As parents, we get so occupied and overwhelmed with our daily tasks, chores and routines that we forget to sit down, relax and have a quiet time for ourselves. Healing the inner self with love and motivation through these small efforts is a very helpful alternative for self-improvement.
Every individual is innately born with greatness, uniqueness and tons of confidence however, this was deeply disturbed in the process of growing up. We are continuously moulded by rules, standards and principles that slowly dominate this greatness and then shape us to who we are today. But if we put a little-to-none effort on self-improvement and self-love, how can we be effective parents if we are overpowered by negativities like anxiousness, fear and doubt?
Here at MyTinyTalks we would like to help you re-connect and empower to your greatness and inner self through our simple tips that have motivated a lot of individuals to restart their life in a deeper and more meaningful sense. That is by:
- Identifying the influences that shaped our growth and development (Traditional Parenting and Social Norms)
- Knowing how to regain that greatness we were born with and start healing our inner self.
- Constantly practising this personal mantra of I AM WORTHY AND ENOUGH.
Giving you a sweet warning that this is a no-painkiller-fast-relief formula. This entails hard work, dedication and continuous practice to gain a lifetime of effect not only for you but also for the people around you.
PARENTING AND A CHILD’S INNER SELF
As children, we were taught by our loved ones, especially by our parents (most probably, same as how they were taught by their parents, too.)
- to follow their rules
- stick to the daily programs they have planned
- Daily/weekly assigned chores
- not do this, not to do that
- do it this way and a lot of house rules and strict regulations that were needed to be followed or ELSE!
And with all these rules, a child is “constructed” and emerges into how he/she is expected to be.
My goal in this article is for every parent and adult to know that we are the person these children look up to for help, comfort and guidance. Let us not be a hindrance to their purpose in life, instead, let us allow them to flourish and grow into the person they are intended to be.
Let us dance with the song of our children’s spirit and let them know that you see and understand them. Letting them feel that they are worthy and enough is the best gift every parent can give to their child.Dr. Sandy Gluckman, an inspirational speaker and parenting coach
Together we Empower
Most of the time, we talk to our children and discuss to them about the shoes that fit them best or the clothes they should wear for their prom. Discuss to them about the grades they got in class or the competition they are preparing to join in.
These are good conversations which we, of course, would want to be updated about and maybe our children are excited to tell us about too. Most probably, you could also recall these types of conversations you had with your parents before, right?
As we raise our own children, what about making some changes to traditional parenting and start bringing them into HIGHER CONVERSATIONS? This time, know our kiddos better and get to understand more of who they really are by getting to know their inner self.
Empower them as you empower yourself.
*** Just to make things clear, I have nothing against traditional parenting. In fact, I am so grateful to my wonderful parents for I am well guided by their ways and teachings. Furthermore, I have great respect to every parent in the world… You are beautiful heroes! It’s just that times are drastically changing and with every change, a different approach has to be made… And besides, every parent’s goal is to bring out the greatness and uniqueness of their child, right? So if you are with me let’s go ahead and learn these new approaches to parenting.
So remember when I mentioned higher conversations earlier? Higher conversations are talks that touch the inner being of a person. Talks that will bring about their deeper thoughts and opinions to a certain topic.
With your child, try and make some twists and turns on how you could start with these talks. Be creative and put on your smart cap.
- Let them know that they have an inner voice that will help them make better judgments.
- That every individual is responsible for the decisions that they make.
- That your thoughts shape your future. So think with your inner wisdom.
- That there is always something good in unwanted situations.
- That you are smarter and bigger than any problems you face.
Children these days are very smart. By changing your way of conversing to them will bring them to a different level of thinking as well. This kind of discussions, when smartly handled will bring them into new heights of resiliency, self-trust and confidence.
SOCIETY AND OUR INNER SELF
Subconsciously, we were programmed to be “us” not only by our loved ones but also by society. A society who has its social standards and norms that requires us to fit ourselves into the crowd so then to be accepted and be a part of the social group.
Social norms can be thought of as: “rules that prescribe what people should and should not do given their social surroundings” (known as milieu, sociocultural context) and circumstances.Wikipedia
We adjust our behaviours and ourselves to be able to blend in with the community. Like for example being a member of a group of artists, sports team, a member of a Sunday school and the likes.
Where one has to be in a student mode once in school. A rescue officer when on duty. A baker once in a patisserie, an actress once in the theatre. And at home, a mom, a dad, a sister or a brother.
Society shapes us. Tells us what to wear and what’s hot and what’s not. What car to drive, what smartphone to choose. And nowadays with social media influences, we get sooo many ideas that change our day to day lives.
It impacts, changes and satisfies our inner selves.
These are a few of the strong influences that have shaped us and is shaping us into who we are today.
I AM WORTHLESS. I CAN’T DO IT
The result of us trying to conform to society’s standards is we end up wearing our invisibility cloak. This simply means we cover ourselves up with different means of self-defence mechanisms to hide us from being unable to satisfy a demand. Together with this external pressure, comes in stress, health issues, fear, anxiety and the list goes on.
These negative feelings start to give us a cloudy perception of the desires of your inner self. This is when these feeling of worthlessness comes in.
It eats us up.
Feelings that you are not capable of doing the right things all the time, not being able to be on the top student list, feeling that you are not at all enough.
Strong emotions shape our tomorrow, therefore choose the best emotions you want and envision your future to be.
Unknowingly, strong negative emotions get stuck in our mind, body and painfully hurts our spirit.
MINDFULNESS, MOTIVATION AND YOUR INNER SELF
YOU ARE WORTHY AND ENOUGH. We adults have to look into our inner soul and express gratitude towards our higher self for being there and for standing strong for us, through thick and thin.
Selfless love pushes us to forget ourselves in the process. Selfless love is beautiful but sometimes we need to be mindful of ourselves too to be more effective for others.
As the saying goes “ You cannot pour from an empty cup.”
Take time to breathe, rest and take care of ourselves. Make it a point to have time to refresh and restore your almost empty cup.
- Every morning, before getting out of bed. I think of things I am thankful for and at least 3 goals I want to accomplish for the day.
- Before coffee… I look out of the window. Face towards the sky, I take deep breaths of fresh air and exhale with a smile. With a grateful heart saying my thank you’s for a new day ahead.
- Say THANK YOU and appreciate the small things about yourself each time you go in front of the mirror.
- Hi sexy hair, you’re looking great!
- Hey beautiful, today is a new day. Let’s be unstoppable!
- Hey handsome, you’re looking cool today.
- Our instincts are our higher self speaking to us letting us know what is best to do, so spare some time for yourself and LISTEN.
- Believe in yourself and most importantly, know that you are worthy, important and enough.
Practice this regularly, as often as you can and see the inner joy and happiness it will bring in you. From there you see a new and different you full of love, confidence and calmness.
And in the process of doing it religiously, you will be able to express your love to the people around you effortlessly and effectively, most especially to your spouse and your beautiful children.
RE-CONNECTING AND EMPOWERING THE “YOU” IN YOU
As parents, our main aim is to bring out the greatness in our children. But how can we be effective if we ourselves are not at our best? How can we deliver the best of our intentions to someone if we doubt even our own abilities? If we show weakness and have a fear of facing life’s challenges?
As I mentioned earlier, this is not a one-dose-fast-relief effect tablet that will immediately take over your life. This is a small addition to your regular habits that needs a lot of sincere dedication and practice.
Bravely peel off and let go of those built-in self-defence mechanisms hiding your true self.
Layer by layer.
Let go of doubt, fear, insecurity and all the rest.
Sweetly releasing it with love and gratitude.
Peel it off because underneath that is the real and beautiful you.
Always remember this, a subconsciously stressful adult/parent results in a stressful and broken-spirited child. And a parent who subconsciously know that he is worthy and enough will bring out a happy-spirited and calm child. So be mindful. 😊
Re-connect and empower yourself first by healing your inner self with love and lots of positive motivation.
Remember, you are worthy and enough! 😉
What are your thoughts about this article? Can you somehow relate to it? Leave us a comment, we would love to hear from you.