The power of connection nowadays within the family is somewhat getting weaker by the day. Blame it to strong interruptions influenced by external factors (technology, society, media etc) and surprisingly internal personal factors too… in these times, family relationships are at the brink of falling apart.
But can we do something about it? Absolutely!
Here at MyTinyTalks, we would like to discuss some beautiful techniques on how we could reprogram OURSELVES and make our family relationships happier and healthier once again and that is by re-wiring the power of our connection.
CONNECT WITH POSITIVITY & APPRECIATION
Image by Astrid Pereira from Pixabay
Connecting to each member of your household with added positivity and sincere appreciation is a powerful tool to strengthen family bonds.
Positivity and appreciation is a beautiful character every parent should encourage to practice within the family. An important characteristic that will shape each and every child as they grow and face the future.
Automatic thank you’s, please, excuse me’s, are the basic yet important words that have to be heard inside each household. Adding magic to the beauty and warmth of home are those grumpy good mornings, ready-to-drop good nights, sincere take care’s and heartwarming I love you’s.
How many times have you heard your child say thank you?
How many times have you said thank you in return?
Are there some good mornings heard around the house, lately?
These are sweet and simple ways of showing each other that “you are important to me” and “I care for you” even though said in an early morning still-sleepy tone.
Have you appreciated the way he sang even with a cracked and out of tuned voice?
Or did you just say,
“Stop! Stop! Son, just sit down. You’re making too much noise I can’t hear Anna on the other line!
Appreciation is an essential factor that a lot of us are underestimating. The power of appreciation not only heals hurting hearts and troubled minds, but it also indirectly says that you are a valuable person and that I hear you well.
Imagine how one feels, let’s say for example your little one excitingly brings home withered flowers from his visit to the park. How would you react to that? Where do you fall in?
- Stressful Mom/Dad: Sees the flowers, eyes doing that 360 degrees turn and asks son to throw it away (with a DO-IT-NOW-OR -ELSE tone) coz the flowers are filthy and dead.
- Don’t Care Mom/Dad: Stares at son handling his bouquet of flowers to her. Takes it without a word of thanks and puts it on top of the table and forgets about it.
- Busy Mom/Dad: Smiles at son and says “Thank you, son” and continues talking on his/her phone. Unknowingly dumps flowers into a wastebasket.
- Worried Mom/Dad: immediately grabs flowers from his child and throws it. And says “ I told you not to be picking plants and flowers from the park! It is dangerous and might be poisonous.” And then gives them a kiss after.
- Appreciative Mom/Dad: Accepts the flowers with a smile. Kisses child and thanks him. Puts withered flowers in a vase and then talks about it to other members of the family.
These are examples commonly happening in some households nowadays. To others, it doesn’t mean anything but these small acts mean a lot to a child.
A simple THANK YOU not only will delight a child’s heart but will have a profound impact on how they will behave towards their everyday lives.
CONNECT JOY AND HAPPINESS TO PARENTING
Whew! This is one tough job that is often underestimated by many… PARENTING.
Correct me if I am wrong but no one prepared us for Mommyhood or Daddyhood, right?
No course in University teaches this important task that we are to face in the future and yet we can even say this is the toughest job in the world.
It isn’t new to our knowledge that building a family plus child discipline is not easy peasy or a walk in the park. Instances where you get tired of their uncontrollable cries and tantrums wishing you could easily walk away and leave. OR snap your fingers and switch families.
NO! No! No… Hold it right there!
Building a family doesn’t have a one-size-fits-all parenting technique where…
“this worked for my friend so I will need to copy the same technique..”
“Mr Google says the first step is to adjust this screw….”
No! No! Nooooo hahaha! Again, hold it right there!
Building a family is a serious commitment that one has to take into heart and be prepared for… mind, body and soul.
Of course, there are basic principles on how to build a happy and healthy family so let’s start from there. These are principles based on Love, Respect, Trust and Understanding.
I am a mom of two beautiful teenagers. It was a tough road learning to how to be a mom and a wife at the same time at 21.
Yes, you read it right… I became a mom at 21 years old.
Fell in love and bore a beautiful and cuddly baby girl while in University. And then was blessed with another baby boy a few years after.
So I and my husband (then) chose to focus on our own family and discontinued University. One of the main reason was because of finances where one of us had to start earning an income immediately.
Though we had a great and supportive family, it was literally crazy tough especially that we were not prepared and mature enough to be in this kind of situation.
Of course, love and excitement filled our place which we called home and in-betweens were those magical moments when we were starting to connect with our little ones each day as they were growing. It felt beautiful and very rewarding.
Then years later came in feelings of worthlessness, frustration, jealousy, misunderstandings and anger. This was what filled the home for years.
It was devastating and yet full of I-don’t-know-how-I-did-it adventures…but this is what has shaped me to who I am today.
All I wanted to say is that creating a happy and strong family entails one to prepare themselves for real-life challenges. Ready and fit for physical, emotional, spiritual and mental challenges, because this will be an adventurous, rocky-rough, tough yet sweet journey.
CONNECT WITH LOTS OF I LOVE YOU’S
Encouraging love, trust and understanding to fill the home starts from the parents themselves. With regular practice, all these will be effective and will effortlessly flow within the family.
A child that grows from love will unknowingly radiate love towards his social life, work life, and in general, he will be guided with love towards his goal of becoming a better version of himself.
RE-CONNECT WITH YOURSELF FIRST
(and know that you are enough.)
Question is how will I connect with my family and express love when I don’t even know how to love myself? Or I am so tired, stressed and busy. Or I am broke so I need to be busy working.
Yes, I hear you and somehow understand how it feels. But if we want to change something in our life, it has to start from somewhere, right?
So start with YOURSELF… within yourself and heal from the inside out.
Give yourself a pat at the back for your achievements. For finally preparing that perfectly tasting dish you have always wanted to have, or keeping the family well organized with daily tasks and appointments or even simply having a peaceful and cheerful morning each day is a delightful achievement.
- Appreciate yourself and know that YOU ARE WORTHY, IMPORTANT AND ENOUGH.
- With a lot of negativities happening around, save yourself by practising positive self-talk and letting yourself know that all is well.
- Try to always find the rainbow in every cloud..constantly do this and you will see the magic feeling that will grow in you.
- Have time for yourself, enjoy your cup of coffee while updating yourself with what is going on around the globe.
The more we take care of ourselves and reconnect with who we are, the more we could effectively reach out to others.
Having self-compassion and knowing your worth and importance gives a big influence on building self-confidence. And the more we have self-confidence, the more we will have the courage to journey through the world of parenting.
Never forget. You are loved, worthy, important and enough! Reprogram this in your subconscious mind and see the difference it will bring to you and your family.
STRENGTHENING FAMILY CONNECTION
The power of uninterrupted connection among the family is very essential to establish right from the very start.
Same with good habits, these behaviours we have discussed in this blog will be easily instilled in the subconscious minds of our children if WE ourselves effectively and convincingly practice these in our daily lives and towards the people around us.
Therefore, strengthening the power of family connection gives us parents an assurance that no matter what time, age or distance our children will be, we know in our hearts that they will be facing life equipped with a strong foundation based on LOVE, POSITIVITY AND APPRECIATION.
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